Last Monday

So tomorrow is my last "work" Monday for a very loooong time- I hope! I have two more work days left and I'm a little sad. Okay- I'm a lot sad. I've loved working in education- ten years of my life have been dedicated to teaching children and welcoming them into my heart. I can easily remember my first day teaching. I was so nervous! Only to think that they were as nervous as I was.... I can see all of their little faces walking into my classroom that I worked so hard on to get clean and ready for the first day of school. I remember their names and their families and all of their little stories. Then the 2nd year, I felt a huge sense of "Hey- I think I know what I'm doing here!"- only to be knocked down by that one student that challenged every fiber of my being. This little girl had seen and heard more in her 6 years than I had ever experienced in my (at that time) 24 years. Oh, the fits she threw! She was just so lost and so was I. Yet I loved her. And I wonder where she is right now and if she is okay. That's why I love the teaching profession. You love the ones that need you the most and by the end of the year, when she told me that she loved me, that she didn't want to leave me, I realize that for 7 hours- I gave her exactly what she needed to get through another day. I remember them all, really- I loved them all and I hope that they left my classroom with just a little glimpse of how much they mattered to me. And how I hope that they will remember me as well as I remember them...
I'm on to another career in two days. Stay at home mommy is my new title. I'm ready, it is what I wished for, but man, I will miss all those kids.

One month away

I have no idea how time has escaped me. It seems like yesterday I was staring at the two little lines on the pregnancy stick. But here I sit, on May 3 and we have officially one month to go. June 3rd is the day!!!! My little boy will be joining our party soon. I have enjoyed this pregnancy so much and yet, part of me has felt a sense of mourning, if you will. This is it- I will never feel this way ever again. With Sophia, everything was new. It was a true adventure! With Diego, I was just so shocked that we were pregnant I walked around in a fog for the first couple of months- then accepted it and had fun with it, but in the back of my mind I knew I would be pregnant again one day so I wasn't sad when it was over. With this one- I have wanted to just freeze time. I never want to forget the exhaustion of the first trimester- the anticipation of each and every doctor's visit- the joy of watching my belly grow- the awe of watching my baby inside me during the sonograms-to hear the heartbeat. But what I'm going to miss the most is the tickle, the nudge, the occasional bump that this child of God gives me every day- letting me know that he's mine, all mine, while he is inside me. There is just nothing in this world that compares to it. It just solidifies the bond that I have with him, just like it did with Sophia and Diego. Sophia was really quiet inside me- not much of a mover. That's how she is now- really patient, deliberate in her actions and oh, so calm. Diego was a little firecracker- ALWAYS jumping around inside and again- that's how he is in this outside world. He is so full of energy- running, hopping, falling everywhere. And this one- he's just as sweet as can be. Never crawls under my ribcage- never hurts me at all. He seems to know when I'm thinking of him because that's when he nudges me the most. Moves more than Sophia- less than Diego. I'm going to miss this so much- tearing up right now as I write this. I wish I could rub this Buddha belly forever. What is it going to be like the night of June 2nd? Ugh- I'm going to be an emotional mess! But when it comes down to it, I know I'm doing God's work- creating this little life and caring for him until it's time for him to come into this world. I am so thankful that I have been given the awesome responsiblity to do this work. I never want to forget. Ever.